Okay so... if you are a Black American and grew up in a diverse community you most certainly heard or used the word OREO to define a Black person who is defined as someone who is black on the outside and white on the inside meaning that they "act White". If you haven't ever heard this or said it yourself, I'll admit, I'm surprised. Growing up most of my life in predominantly White neighborhoods and attending elementary school in an ethnically diverse neighborhood, I got to hear the word Oreo A LOT. For me, being called an Oreo was confusing and upsetting. I didn't want to be White, and I didn't understand why people were determined I did. I couldn't understand how they could equate being smart, speaking properly, and having a diverse circle of friends as me not being proud to be brown. I must admit I had some serious identity issues growing up (when I was once Puerto Rican) but I never one day in my life thought I was really white on the inside nor did I ever yearn to be. I didn't understand why Black kids hated on me and I didn't understand the whole "token Black friend" being the "cool" Black girl to hang around because I was just being me. I spoke differently from my Black peers, I lived in a different neighborhood and they couldn't stand me for it. Until I moved to Germantown, I didn't know anyone like me outside of my family; meaning: Black + proper + not at all ashamed of it. (Saidah/Cari, I know you feel me)
Even as a grown woman the Oreo "thing" eats me up as does the whole "why do you talk White?" or "why do you act White?". WTF does that mean?! Are Black people limited to not speaking properly, being able to read and write like White folks, and limited to listening to "Black music", not traveling internationally and living in the ghetto? because whoever thinks that is on a sad road to a self-loathing, unfulfilled life. For crying out loud, our President is BLACK!
Two recent thoughts that made me pose this question, Are coconuts and oreos synonymous are: 1)when I was in Johannesburg, I met a Black South African woman with her White Dutch boy friend at a cultural event. We were standing around a fire talking about where we were from. I asked her where she was from because she was obviously a Black woman but had a VERY British accent, unlike other Blacks I had spoken with in Africa. She said that she was from Eastern Cape but was really a coconut. I had NO idea what she was talking about. I didn't know if that was referring to some type of transplant from one place to another and then she informed me that it meant that she was brown on the outside but white on the inside. I thought that comment was so strange. She went on to elaborate and tell me that she didn't identify with anything Black and totally didn't fit in with her family because she embraced all things White. Hearing her self-loating comments were tolerable because I hear them all the time about other things like hair, skin color, shape, etc. but for people to actually call themselves coconuts...was just plain foreign a concept to me. Shying away from all things "Black" doesn't make your skin any whiter and it doesn't make people see you as Whiter, just trying way too hard to escape the impossible. God made you Black, so get over it and learn how to change peoples ideas about Blacks by being the most amazing Black person you can be, not the whitest wannabe you can be, because it's something you'll never achieve: not by dating someone white, or buy getting a weave, or by "talking White" or supporting all things White and despising all things Black...all things you. You just end up a coconut with no sense of self. I'd rather be a Black, strong, educated and indenpendent woman who is comfortable in her own skin.
2) I was talking to a colleague about something and he kept telling me that although he was Asian on the outside he is really a White boy inside. He didn't just make the comment once, he continued to repeat it OUT LOUD, as if saying it multiple times would make it turn him less brown on the outside. I don't get it. Maybe I never will.
I know that the continents of Africa Asia and good ol' North America are clearly different places with different histories, but is deeming yourself a Coconut, or White inside basically calling yourself an Oreo and being proud to not be proud of who you are? Or is one term offensive and the other one non-offensive? OR does it really just matter how you take it or present the idea of being an oreo or a coconut?
I know that I'm not ever going to call myself a Coconut or an Oreo and I'm never going to not be offended by being called either of the two names. I think both of them take away from the richness that we are as human beings and limit us to black and white. I love all the things my Black American, East Coast/Southern, Montgomery County/DC raised culture has given me and I love and appreciate the things I've learned from others because those experiences also make me who I am.
Why can't people just be Black or White or whatever they are and embrace all the pieces of them and what have made them?? I refuse to apologize for my mother sacrificing to make sure I got a solid education, lived in a safe community, and spoke properly, and she didn't do it so I could be closer to White, she did it so that I could be my best me. Being educated, having long hair, or having diverse friends doesn't make anyone Black any less Black the same way growing up in the Projects, having dreadlocks and listening to Hip-Hop doesn't make a White person less White. It is what it is, so learn to love it or keep hating yourself. You choose.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions on the words, and the way you use them or why you don't...
4 comments:
Well seeing that I am a little of both and grew up in West Texas.. which I would have to say is worse than Germantown, no offense. I heard the term and totally agree with your post. It will not stop until the ignorance from both sides decides to change. I was never Blk enough or Wht enough and could really never be that token Blk friend. Seeing being mexican or white was the only cool thing... I will say that I can be it all (Ghetto when I need to be, proper as I see fit and just plain me all in one. Love you girl and loved the post!!!
Interesting stuff. I never heard of the coconut part but I am well familiar with Oreos and have been accused of the same.
I can't presume what all black people outside of North America think of themselves or of Black Americans. However, from how this post reads, it seems that the closer to white possible, the better, something that I have seen present in blacks and people of color outside of America. White people are elevated and given higher status, which seems to be the case almost everywhere.
While the use of coconut to describe onself could be subconscious self-loathing, it could also be the desire to be in possession of that which is often synonomous with good or desirable traits, meaning not white person A or B, but whiteness itself and the privileges attached thereto.
Now in terms of usage, I'd say its simple semantics, coconut as the world says it over Oreo as America says it since a coconut is a fruit and Oreo is a brand name.
However, it can't be denied that both descriptors, even if one is used or viewed as complementary (coconut) and the other as an insult (oreo), are used to characterize black people behaving in ways more readily attributed to race, specifically the white race.
I don't feel its sufficient to reach the cultural conclusion, that rather than identify yourself as an educated, well read, intelligent black person, you call yourself a coconut, just because you've been made to believe that being 'white on the inside' is beneficial. It is however, better than being called oreo, which implies that a particular way of speaking, academic achievement, or chosen social circle is reflective of disinterest or lack of pride with your race.
It cannot be disputed though, how troubling it is, that commutable characteristics are presumed under the monopoly of one race and that their presence in people of other races gives rise to special names to describe such a thing.
Perhaps the greatest difference between these two words is their treatment; which is to say that the recognition that being called an Oreo is NOT complementary (besides being fallacious and innacurate in reasoning) is more socially evolved and developed than the mentality that calls oneself coconut as positive descriptor.
--Freddie D.
i won't even get started!!
I totally vibe with what your saying Allison. It's ashame that people are ashamed of who they are and choose to conform from the inside out rather than accept who they are. I know I've experienced some confusion being an ethiopian born in philly to jersey to dc. In the end I simply got over it and accepted my own individual differences and accepted my uniqueness. It's only one world and you either accept it or lose yourself. All well said.
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