Lambchop + Fernie's Nit Bus Nightmare

Every Wednesday night Linda and I go to Bar Can-Can for intercambio which is a friend's bar where we go and meet new people and speak English half the time and speak Spanish the other half of the time. This particular Wednesday night neither of us really wanted to go but we did one of those..."I'll go if you go" things...so we get there and there is no one there. When I say no one I mean...me, Linda, the owner and our Icelandic bar homie...only people there. Since it was the first cold night in Barcelona we understood why but stayed anyway.
You know me and my BIG mouth...well as we were leaving we started talking to the bartender, Nina (Colombian and Swedish). She was so cool and her name is Nina (my best friend's name, and she's half Colombian) OF COURSE I needed to chat with her even though Linda kept reminding me that we would miss the last train if we didn't hurry...
Okay so, we missed the last train. We got to the train station and the gates were down. The last time this happened we took what is known as the Nit Bus which is Catalan for the night bus. This is the bus that runs when no other transportation is running but it comes when it wants and apparently it goes where it wants, and lets you off where it wants. We get on the bus, Nit Bus No. 6; the same bus we'd taken the last time. As we rode by our landmark I definitely said, "that's the end of La Ramblas" which would've been an AWESOME time to get off the bus but...we figured we would wait it out a bit longer to get closer.

We ended up on that bus going the wrong direction for a good 45 minutes. Everyone else got on and got back off...everyone but us. We decided that the bus was going to eventually just start over where it started. We thought that until the bus driver turned on the overhead lights and told us that we had reached the end of the line meaning, GET OFF.

We were in a town called BADALONA. I know I'm corny but the name of the town means it's bad to be alone-a there. It was by this time 1 a.m. and we're in the middle of a creepy neighborhood in the middle of nowhere. I ask in the most pathetic voice ever if another bus is going to come for us...he says "wait on the other side, in 20 minutes you'll be picked up". Linda and I, super pouty lipped go across the street, in the freezing cold and wait at the bus stop. We realize the bus is still sitting there. While we're standing there a WOLF DOG...and by that I mean, an oversized mammoth of a dog comes towards us. I tell Linda and we jump up ontop of the bus stop seat and hold each other trying not to look down at this drooly mouthed wolf dog who must know my nickname since birth is Lambchop because he definitely wanted to take a bite out of me. After minutes of Linda telling me not to look down, and several squeals the wolf dog found other entertainment and walked away...

(us pouting and being afraid)

Approximately 15 minutes later the bus turns back on the bus that is coming to pick us up is the SAME bus!!!! The guy had a late night snack on the bus and THEN decided he would let us back on the bus. (BASTARD!) We get on and get warm and cozy again and literally SIGH until we reach the bottom of the hill where I hear the mechanic come over the radio, telling the bus driver to let all passengers off because he's experiencing a malfunction on his bus. We got literally a block away from where we were slowly turning into Popsicles before he kicked us off again and told us someone else would eventually come for us...maybe ANOTHER 30 minutes.

Of course then a group of drunk men of Middle Eastern or North African decent are partying at their vehicle a few feet away... (hence my dance skillz) I figured I could stay warm dancing to the music that was blaring from their car...until the Mossos rolled up on them and tried to catch them with illegal drugs and being illegal immigrants. It was a mess, we were still cold, and it was WEDNESDAY NIGHT at the bus stop in Badalona!!!!

FINALLY, another bus does come. We actually ask if it's going to Plaza Catalunya and YES, it is. We're on this bus headed in the right direction...we get off and have to walk another 20 minutes to my house (we've decided we're having a sleepover at my place because we're not going to be alone after this catastrophe). As we walk to my house, we're so cold + it's already so late we figure we'll stop for a tea. We go get a tea, laugh at the craziness and walk ALMOST home free...we're walking and walking and I look out of the corner of my eye and there is a crazy looking man wacking off in the middle of the alley, just a few feet from us. Two seconds later I hear a disgusting noise and right after is splatter of ... yeah, you know the rest. He shoots it in our direction and I TAKE OFF RUNNING! My HS track days kicked in and I took off. Linda thought that he was chasing us so she ran up to me and grabbed my arm only to hear that we weren't running from the disgusting perv, we were running not to get sprayed.

(really, there was nothing better to do than pout)

NEVER, EVER AGAIN will I get on the Nit Bus No.6 We got to my house and I couldn't sleep at all. I hope that you won't have nightmares from our horrible night but I hope you enjoyed the very detailed description of one random night of mine in Barcelona...